"I may be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door, but I've never had so much fun before. Come on chill out man don't believe the hype, no use walking around afraid of life. Let it roll 'cause the world just turns. Yes, you've got to let it roll before you crash and burn." - An old friend, and one of my favorite artists/poets/musicians, Blair (1970 - 2011).I met Markus Urban back in March and I felt like we clicked almost instantly. If nothing else, I became enthralled with his life philosophy, which he calls Living On Impulse.
Note: My thoughts/observations on living on impulse here are my own. Markus may agree or disagree with a lot of them. This won't be the last time we discuss this topic. Subscribe to get the updates.
Since meeting in March (and hanging out around Austin, TX for a couple weeks) I'd been watching from the sidelines as Markus continued to live on impulse. I had plans and living on impulse isn't particularly conducive to specific plans so watching on the sidelines was my only real option. When those plans were unexpectedly cancelled I wasn't sure what to do. If I can be honest, it was the most down/depressed I'd felt in years. I put a lot of work into the roller coaster tour and to end it was not a decision I made lightly.
The aftermath was me sitting around wallowing for a few weeks. It wasn't unproductive wallowing as I'm actually in the early stages of creating a new company (which I may not ever talk about here because it's unrelated to what this site is about), but it was wallowing none-the-less. I went out drinking with friends more than I would normally. I hung out at my Parents' house and took care of their cat while they went on holiday. And mostly I just got into a big mental rut.
I knew I wanted to leave on some kind of excursion because the road is life's blood. Maybe I'd move to Nashville (I love country music now) for a couple months? Maybe I'd go on an East Coast road trip and see all the people I had planned on seeing during the coaster tour? Maybe I'd leave the country, never to return? Maybe I'd play travel roulette?
I delayed my "get on the road again" date twice. It was supposed to be "this coming Friday" which turned into "next Wednesday" which turned into "ehh, I'm not sure when I'll leave."
Then I was talking to Brook via e-mail and she said (paraphrased) "We're going on a boat trip Saturday. There will be a cannon. Join us." This was Thursday, July 21. My response, which I had just decided on at that moment, was "I've been delayed a bit on my excursion, but I'll leave tomorrow." Brook's in Portland, ME which is 800 miles from Detroit, MI if you take a short cut through Canada. It's not exactly like driving down the street. (Although now that I'm essentially a truck driver 800 miles is no sweat.)
At that moment I felt a strong desire to experiment with living on impulse so I went with it.
Over-thinking Kills CreativityPrevious to this I'd been trying to get myself into the living on impulse mindset, but it just wasn't flowing. I'd get too far into my head and then make very specific plans, which I wouldn't end up taking action on anyway. "Hmm, I'm really into country music right now, I should go to Nashville for a couple months." And instead of just heading to Nashville (living on impulse) I'd begin endlessly researching Nashville (not at all living on impulse). This over-thinking is also known as analysis paralysis. It's a creativity killer.
I had also thought about an east coast road trip because there were a lot of places on the east coast I'd never been to. The state of Maine was one of those places, but again, I kept delaying the excursion. That is until that moment on Thursday July 21 when it just felt right. Maybe I hadn't been ready in the months, weeks, days, even minutes leading up to making the decision. Whatever the case may be, my experiment in living on impulse was officially beginning.
In The BeginningThe first day was spent in a car driving. I knew the route based on Google Maps and I immediately failed by deciding where I'd stop to sleep. It hit me that that's not living on impulse. So I just left Michigan and decided I would figure everything else out later.
I ended up stopping in Lowell, MA because it was 9:30pm and I was falling asleep from being behind the wheel for over 12 hours. The first hotel I stopped at was completely booked. "Weird," I thought to myself, "hotels are usually running nowhere near capacity. Why is this booked?" The guy at the counter said to head down to the next highway stop since there are 3 hotels there and they should have something available.
So I stopped in another hotel, which also looked completely full. The parking lot was near capacity and the lobby was brimming with activity. "What is going on here? I'm in Lowell, MA. Why the fuck is Lowell, MA so popular?!" I walked up to the reception counter not expecting much.
Me: "What kind of fabulous deal do you have on rooms tonight?" - Faking a positive attitude is better than exuding negativity.
Hotel: "Let's see. $X. There are only a couple rooms left."
Me: "I was just at another hotel and everything was sold out. What is going on here?"
Hotel: "The Lowell Folk Festival, but to be honest, it has been like this for a while. Rooms have been booked solid lately."
Me: "Weird. What kind of discount can you give me on that room?"
Hotel: "Do you have AAA?"
Hotel: "10% off."
And so it was. My first day of living on impulse was mostly uneventful until I was nearly falling asleep and needed a place to lay my head.
Days 2 & 3: Shooting a cannon, seeing my first bald eagle, swimming in the harbor, drinking Cristal, puking Cristal, Mississippi Blues in Maine.
I got to Portland, ME around 11:30am and by 2pm we were on a 60 foot motorsail boat along with about 10 other people. I got to shoot a cannon! Although I already mostly knew that would happen. :)
Then everybody began jumping in the water to go swimming. I did not have a swim suit. Just my shorts. "Hey, uhh, would you all be weirded out if I swam in my underwear?" This is not something I would normally do. First off, even though I learned to swim when I was 3 I'm not a big fan of swimming or being immersed in water. It's simply not enjoyable for me. But in that moment I wanted to join everybody and go for a swim. Of course, the collective response to my question was "No, jump in!" And so it was.
Later we saw a bald eagle land on a tree top and stay there for an hour or so. This has nothing to do with living on impulse, it was just awesome! I'd never seen a bald eagle before. And it was just hanging out. Maybe hunting? Who knows?
The day of boating finished around 8. Brook and her friend Young invited me to their friend's birthday party. It took me about 5 seconds to say "yes, I'm in!" I happened to have some decent looking clothes so I wouldn't look like my usual "bum" self. :) This party was at the VIP area of a local club. The drinks were flowing and I over-indulged more than I had in a good 10 years. At one point there was Cristal and seemingly endless supply of vodka.
On the way out of the club I ended up heading to the bathroom and puking. That was new. I was never the type to drink so much I'd get sick. Lately I hadn't even been drinking much at all. But there's a saying: "When someone hands you a glass of champagne that costs more than the clothes on your back, you drink." That's actually not a saying, but maybe it should be?
The next day I woke up and wasn't sure what I'd do. I somehow decided I'd leave Portland and head either north or south. I'm not sure why exactly. Portland is a very nice city and I probably could have spent a few days exploring. But I felt the impulse to go. I had read about a Mississippi Blues Trail marker in Rockland, ME, about 90 minutes north east of Portland during another previous attempt at living on impulse.
That attempt was "I should visit all the Mississippi Blues Trail markers. I wonder how many there are. I wonder where they are. WTF, there's one in Maine?"
I obviously researched more than I took action on that impulse as well.
But I also wanted to head south to Boston. I'd never been there, I heard it's nice, and I hadn't seen my old friend Jeanne (my former roommate in the 'hood ... just kidding, but it was Detroit) in probably 8 or 9 years.
I chose north. I felt like a day of peace and calm was in order after the previous day's events.
I wondered how I'd find the blues trail marker. I knew there was probably a detailed map on the website, but that didn't appeal to me. As I got into Rockland I stopped at a Rite Aid for a water. Then I sat in my car in the Rite Aid parking lot and began researching hotels in Rockland and further north on my phone. I wasn't sure where I'd stay that night so I was looking at my options. "Dammit!" I thought to myself. "That's not living on impulse." I put my phone away, drove about 100 meters past the Rite Aid, and there it was ... the Mississippi to Maine Blues Trail Marker! Right in the parking lot of a hotel. I stopped to read it and take a photo. By now it was only 4pm, but I wanted to go to sleep. The previous night was catching up with me. "I'm not leaving Rockland. I need a nap. I'm staying at this hotel."
North or South, East or West? The Only Question That Matters?That night I asked myself the same question as before. "Do I head north or south tomorrow?" This time I didn't feel particularly compelled to head further north. South to Boston it was!
After Boston I headed to NYC to hang with Nick for a handful of days. Then it was off to DC to hang with my friends Dan and Kasey. And I'm currently writing from Florida hanging out with my good friend Kenny. I eventually want to go to the Forest Hostel in Georgia and I'll also head to Asheville to plan the next Only72.com sale with Baker. So I have a few general ideas of where I'll go, but the gaps aren't filled in.
I'm not going to continue with the minutiae of my living on impulse. I wanted to give you an idea of the early days so you could see how it looked. It might seem very normal to you, but virtually everything is an adventure. Where I stop to eat, where I stop to sleep, what I decide to do.
Sometimes I make plans a bit ahead of time (this is especially necessary when meeting up with somebody) and sometimes I don't make plans at all. Plans in and of themselves are not the death of living on impulse. It's being open to unexpected plans and not planning every moment that matters to me.
Being Impulsive vs Living On ImpulseLiving on impulse is not the same as being impulsive. It's actually a not-so-subtle difference. To me being impulsive can be misconstrued as being wasteful, consumerist, or weak-willed/weak-minded. On the contrary living on impulse is letting life lead you wherever it leads you without giving it direction (or little direction) but still doing it somewhat consciously. Getting into the flow and allowing it to make your decisions for you, but knowing that's what's happening. Maybe that means saying yes to an opportunity you wouldn't normally say yes to. Maybe that means saying no in a situation you'd usually say yes. Maybe that means putting everything you own in a garbage bag, throwing it away, opening the door to your home, and never looking back.
You know in the moment (this moment) where the impulse will lead you. It might lead you astray. It might lead you to pleasant surprises. Either way, it's leading you exactly where it should be leading you.
Fate vs Living On ImpulseI don't believe in fate and I'm not superstitious. Things do not "happen for a reason" as so many people falsely, and unfortunately to their detriment, believe. We've been conditioned into this line of thinking to make ourselves feel better when things go wrong. Well guess what? Things go wrong! To everybody. It's not bad or good. It just is. By embracing this feeling, the flow of living on impulse, we can harness this power of the good and the bad. We become more in tune with ourselves and our surroundings.
At the same time, we become more detached from results. If something good happens, great! If something bad happens, oh well! If neither this nor that happens, that's cool too. The result doesn't matter as much as embracing our existence and loving the process (and progress) of life; of moments.
Is It Possible To Plan and Live On Impulse?Yes. Planning is generally counter-intuitive to the living on impulse philosophy, but not always. Maybe somebody asks you to visit them, or to hang out, or to go to dinner, or whatever else, and that's a plan. I've been doing my best not to make my own plans, but sometimes that is the impulse. "Hey I should go to [insert city] [on this date]." I've also caught myself talking to somebody and saying something like "Hey, I think I'll be in X city at some time in the future. We should hang." That's OK too.
The Recipe For Living On ImpulseWhen you first start learning to cook you need to follow the recipe to a T. Otherwise you'll probably make mistakes that make your food inedible. While it's OK to make mistakes it's also smart to learn how to do something correctly. You've got to know the rules before you can break them. Once you've made a recipe well once you'll be much more comfortable changing it up and playing around with the ingredients. This holds true for almost anything in life.
The recipe for living on impulse is a little different in that you already know the recipe so you can begin changing it from Day 1. That's because there is no recipe. You'll know when you're not living on impulse. You'll know when you're falling into your old ways. I still mess up a lot with it myself. There is no guilt.
The Box? There Is No Box. Except There Is.Life is supposed to be fun and forcing yourself into a box is anything but. That's the biggest lesson I'm learning with this experiment.
Sometimes I see the box. Sometimes I'm in the box. Sometimes I'm out of the box. Sometimes the box isn't a box at all. It's all OK.
Questions about living on impulse? Ask them below and I'll coerce Markus into providing his own input in a future article. Subscribe to get the updates